Home to Hellas (The Challenge Series) by Beck Stephanie

Author:Beck, Stephanie [Beck, Stephanie]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: The Challenge Series
Publisher: Decadent Publishing Company, LLC
Published: 2013-03-30T23:00:00+00:00

Chapter Eight

Jenn settled onto the bench she and Dorian had shared the day before, the waves and wind a welcome distraction, but even with their power, her mind wandered.

If she dies, it’s not your fault. It’s not your business. It’s not your life.

Dr. Arogos’ harsh words echoed long after their appointment. She’d gone in expecting to discuss more coping mechanisms for the guilt. He’d offered quite a few good ideas she intended to use, but in their last few minutes, he’d given her the bitter taste of reality. His words were true, but they hurt.

“What happens to you if this other Jennifer dies?”

She swallowed, surprised at the abrupt change in topic. “Nothing, I guess.”

“Precisely. You don’t know her, aren’t family—you will be fine. Is that what bothers you most?”

She didn’t find his words so insightful anymore. “I don’t see how this is helpful.”

“Am I to understand this other patient has support? Can’t we assume she has family to help her?”

“Yes. I met her once. It was a fluke—she was checking in for an appointment at the same time I was picking up some papers, so I heard her name and introduced myself. We talked in the waiting room for quite a while. Her husband has a big family who is helping, and they also have a daughter.” She wiped her hands against her dress at the memory of red-rimmed eyes and sassy sarcasm.

“She has this group, one you would not have had if you had gone through treatment.”

Where was he going with this? “Right. But I would have been fine.”

“You are projecting your fear on her. She has family and treatment. She will be fine. Why are you predicting doom for her? You wish her to die?”

She gasped. “Of course not.”

“Then why this, this…sadness you feel for her? She is better off than you were and will have help. Why take that away and wish her ill?”

“I do not.”

“Repeat after me if you would. If she lives it’s not my fault. If she dies it’s not my fault. It is not my business. It is not my life.”

Jenn kicked a clump of sand. Had she projected the fears she’d held on the other Jenn? Maybe that explained the guilt. She ignored the positive things and assumed she would have to handle the same level of crap.

Maybe a few friends would have come out of the woodwork, but she couldn’t be sure. She might have had no support at all. The other Jenn mentioned being married to her high school sweetheart and in-laws clamoring to babysit.

A sailboat bobbed across the rough water, on its own against the waves. How long had she let herself be that boat?

She’d messed up, getting isolated. When her mother got sick, she’d set aside her work and friendships. After the funeral, Jenn hadn’t put the effort into reestablishing relationships, and the women she’d known well had gone on with their lives with new jobs and family matters keeping them busy.

Dorian stood out. Out of her circle, he’d tried hardest to connect in the past year.

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